My name is Kaillaby and I’m determined to make a name for myself. After living an unfulfilled life, I finally decided to do something about it! Read on for more
When I was a teen I remembered watching Sex & The City and thinking I wanted to be like Carrie Bradshaw. I’d think to myself,
“Wow, this girl has got it made! She’s single in one of the greatest cities in the World, her and her besties frequent the hottest restaurants and premiere events. She’s into the latest fashion…”
However, what impressed me the most wasn’t Carrie’s Manolo’s or her pad.
What inspired me most about Carrie Bradshaw was her career.
Carrie was a freelance writer.
She worked on HER time on HER terms. She didn’t have a stressful or demanding job like Miranda, and she didn’t have to deal with the public like Samantha and Charlotte. Carrie worked from her laptop in the comforts of her own home and told HER truth. As she’d hit us with her daily “I wonder” (followed by her infamous one liner puns) I thought to myself:
“I want to do this! I could do this! I can do this! I want to be a writer!“
You’re probably picturing a girl on a mountain top standing with her head held high as her cape flaps in the wind, ready to conquer her fears, right? Fast forward to 2020: I am a working-middle-class-Mom with a generic job in a generic tiny NYC apartment (Ehh 1/5?) How did I go from the starry-eyed child to the adult who settled? Influence.
The Path of an Unfulfilled Life
Growing up poor in the inner city, kids are not often encouraged to follow their dreams or given the necessary tools and support needed to succeed. We’re encouraged to make money, early; The sooner we can help support, the better it is for the family.
These things considered, I was introduced to the workforce at 13 and have had a job ever since. However, just like my man Alexander Hamilton, I have never been satisfied. I’ve always had this void in me that has never been filled by any job I’ve ever had no matter how good the salary or how accommodating the schedule.
After a few years, I’d hit the same ceiling.
This displacement has caused me to bounce around from job to job, industry to industry. I’ve had jobs in Retail ::hisses::, Education, Finance and Accounting all the while knowing that it wasn’t what I wanted to DO with my LIFE. What I wanted was control (or freedom depending on how you look at it): To control my narrative.
I grew tired of some dick-tator telling me how much (or little) I was worth, how much time off time I was allotted (7 sick days!? FOR THE YEAR!?) and demanding 40 Hours a week from me. Half the time, I was smarter than the people in charge anyway so what was I doing?!
Why was I wasting my time and energy working for people that I don’t care about doing a job that wasn’t fulfilling?
Was it worth it in the grand scheme of things?
My current life setup says Nah.
The Path of Change
Once I acknowledged the problem existed the next thing was putting a plan in motion, I started off by constantly affirming myself and goals through the help of a vision board, self-help books, journaling, inspirational conversations, and smudging. Now, with me enrolled in school full time, creating a new site (weeeeeeeee!) and a whole new mindset paired with my determination, I am one step closer to achieving my dreams.
They say the path to success is never a straight line and I’ve got the scars to prove it.
But that’s ok, my journey isn’t over yet!
I’d love to hear from you:
What steps are you taking to make your life more fulfilling?
Tell me about it in the comments