Why it’s 100% necessary to be patient with yourself and stop monitoring the success of other people. Oh, the places you’ll go…
In the internet age, its hard not to compare yourself to everyone else: You see the glorified pics. The constant portrayal of success. How can one witness these things and not start self reflecting about where they are (or aren’t) or the things they have yet to do and/or accomplish.
It’s happened to me.
Once upon a time, I took a hiatus from social media because it wasn’t breeding inspiration. It started to become a reflection of all the things I wasn’t doing and it showed me all the goals I wanted to achieve but couldn’t. I started to get jealous. And envious. I began to not have love and appreciation for the things I had going on because I was too busy trying to live someone else’s life.
That’s where I went wrong.
Instead of monitoring and focusing on my own success, I was distracted by the paths of other people. I found myself checking the pages of people with more established followings and endorsement deals thinking to myself how could I be like them? What are they doing that I’m not doing?
Who can relate?
Ladies: how many times have you seen a picture or a video of a trending woman and started to think about all of the improvements you needed to make?
How your body could be: thinner, thicker, toner. Your hair could be longer, fuller, healthier.
You get swallowed by the popularity contest and lose yourself in light of being liked; not knowing all the while what their real life experience is like.You’re just caught up in the glorified image that’s portrayed online.
Being someone new on the scene, I was definitely tempted by the bells and whistles that would take me to faster stardom: I considered playing up my sexiness, being a brand ambassador for an online fashion boutique and thought about switching to lanes that had nothing to do with my art just to get attention. It was my best friend that told me to keep my eye on the prize. She recommended that I stick to what makes me an individual versus trying to hop on the band wagon. It reminded me of that scene in A Star Is Born where Bradley Cooper is giving Lady Gaga advice on her stardom, he says:
“If you don’t dig deep into your fuckin’ soul you won’t have legs. I’m just telling you that. If you don’t tell the truth out there you’re fucked. All you got is you and what you have to say to people and they are listening right now and they are not going to be listening forever. Trust me. So you gotta grab it and you don’t apologise or worry about why they’re listening or how long they’re gonna be listening for. You just tell them what you want to say.“Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
I realize now that people aren’t following me on social media and coming to my website because I’m like someone else: you’re here for me.
There was something about me that interested you and it’s that exchange that’s so important! I don’t want to waste any time or energy on trends. After a while, I’d exhaust all of my efforts just trying to keep up. It would mean so much more to be noticed for being me ^_^
The focus should be on figuring out what I could do better not how I can be like other people.
Remember that! One can easily get caught up in the scene but remember that even the trendsetters were once where you are now: in a space trying to figure out their path to success. They figured out a way that works best for them, now it’s up to you to pave the way for yourself. Comparing your process to that of others is just counter productive.
Find your “it” factor and construct a plan on how to make it work for you!
- Try a vision board.
- Check in with yourself, often.
- Celebrate your small victories, not just the big ones! (Read more about affirming yourself, here: The Power of Affirmations)
Don’t forget to add the energy!