Anyone whose seen Disney’s “Soul” is familiar with the concept of a spark, aka your reason for living. It’s a connection that’s hard to explain because it’s something you feel and won’t know until it happens. I felt mine while I was watching HGTV’s “Fixer Upper.”
This episode featured a young couple looking for their first home together. The coffee shop owners found a home for less than $100K and used the remainder of their budget to renovate their home and give it the personal touch they needed to make it REALLY theirs. Your girl Joanna did her thing, like always! During the last shot of the couple in their home, they were welcoming friends over and telling the camera crew how delighted they were with their starter home, and that’s when I felt it, that twinge of “I want that.“
The feeling of “this would make me happy” was shocking to me, you see, because I always thought my calling was writing. By the time I was a teen, I knew I wanted 2 things out of life:
- To make enough money to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world.
- To entertain people.
I have been on a quest of fulfillment ever since.
That quest has caused me to start working at the age of 13. Since then, I’ve made my way through five industries and 12 jobs, leaving me feeling unfulfilled. It didn’t matter whether they were reputable (some of them were) or if they helped me move out on my own (some of them did); none of them made me happy. I was making moves for all the wrong reasons: Your job isn’t supposed to be your happiness. Your life is supposed to make you happy. I realize now that a life of duty isn’t living.
Working is all I’ve been doing: investing my time and energy into my work and having no air around me. No time for fun, family, or friends. Just duties. Then one day, I looked up and realized it was all I had. It hit me: I don’t want a life of just completing tasks. I’d rather be able to conduct science experiments with my daughter or lay in bed with my husband and talk about the theories of the Universe, call my best friend and laugh and talk for hours, or visit my Grandmother on a Sunday morning and play checkers over coffee. THIS is living, folks. These moments are life.
I’m not telling you to quit your job, I’m encouraging you to make sure you exist outside of it. Working isn’t living. Rapping JCOLE’s “Can’t Get Enough” with my Husband off our terrace at 1 in the morning (that’s a hook right thurr)? Talking to my Mom about recipes I found on Pinterest? Catching up with friends? Taking walks outside? This is living. Here’s to more life and dedicating time to finding your spark:
It’s never too late to be what you might have beenGeorge Eliot
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